Smarties, Gumdrops, and Winnie the Pooh
by TheFlyingNinjaTurtles
Summary: What happens when Nessie gets a ssudden obsession with Smarties? Why is it raining gumdrops? Seems like the perfect fairytale right? WRONG! It was all going swell until a certain cartoon character starts massacaring the town. Companion coming soon.
1. Smarties

**BOLD: Stella **_ITALICS: Pillow **BOLD ITALICS: Pillow and Stella**_

_Disclaimer: We obviously don't own twilight. disclaimers are steeeeewwwwwpid. _**uh huh. . . well at least they keep us from being sued. i'm too young to deal with that yet!**

Ness POV

"Momma! Momma! I've found a human food I like!" Nessie yelled from the living room of our cottage.

"Coming Ness. You didn't have yell, I have vampire hearing remember?" I said from the kitchen.

I'd finally given in to calling Renesmee Nessie. She was about three now, though she looked about six years old.

"Mommy!!!!!!! Hurry up! We have to get more!!!!!" Nessie yelled.

"Get more what? And what did I say about not having to yell?" I asked, walking into the living room to find three boxes of Smarties on the floor, and they looked empty.

"_Smarties. Smarties. Wonderful Smarties! They bring me so much joy! Smarties. Smarties. Beautiful Smarties, for all the girls and boys!_" Nessie sang as she suddenly burst into a jazz hands at the end of her little song. It was so cute.

"Nessie, that is a beautiful song. Now what do we need?" I asked again, only to get the same response, we talked this way for at least half an hour.

"Geez mom! You don't understand yet? God, I'll just go tell Jacob to get me some Smarties," Nessie said dully.

- Ness POV-

I grabbed my pink cell phone off of the counter and flipped it open. I went to my speed dial and pressed on Jacob's name.

He answered by the second ring.

"Hey princess," Jacob said.

"Hi wolfy," I said giggling.

"So why are you calling, not that I don't enjoy our conversations," Jake said.

"Ha-ha. Nice save Jake."

"Anyway so…..do you need anything?"

"Oh yeah, umm……I need SMARTIES!!!!"

"Nessie, I'm not sure that would be the best idea. I thought human food was repulsive to you?"

"Most of it is, but not anymore since I discovered Smarties."

"Ness, Smarties are only available in Canada."

"So……?"

"You really want them that bad?"

"Yes yes yes!"

"Ok, let me speak to your mother."

-Bella POV-

"Mommy, Jacob wants to talk to you," Nessie said, handing me the phone.

"Hello Jacob," I greeted.

"Hey Bells. So is Nessie serious?" Jacob asked.

"Sadly, yes. I think she's going through a phase," I answered.

"So I have to go to Canada? Again?"

"Well, yeah. Sort of. You know, I could get Edward to go with you. You could have a little bonding time!"

"Seriously?"

"Yes. Now don't question my authority or I'll punch you in the face again."

"Bella, the first time you tried that you practically broke your hand, and the second time you broke Seth, remember?"

"Are you questioning my authority?"

"What? No! At, least I don't think so……."

"That's it, you're grounded for a week mister."

"BELLA! You are not my mother!"

"So?"

"So? So, you can't ground me!"

"Maybe I can't, but I can ban you from coming over."

"Please Bella, you know that would make Nessie and yourself unhappy."

"Fine, but you are banned until you get her her Smarties!"

"Okay, can I talk to Nessie again please?"

- Ness POV-

"Ness, sweetie, Jacob wants to talk to you," My mom said as I all but ripped the phone to shreds in eagerness to talk to Jacob about my Smarties.

"Nessie! Be careful!" My mother yelled.

"Sorry Mom," I apologized.

"Hi Nessie," Jacobs husky voice greeted me once again.

"Hi Jake," I replied.

"So what kind of Smarties would you like sweetie?" Jacob asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, me and your father can go to the factory and get them custom made."

"No, no. I just want my regular Smarties. Do you want to hear my Smartie song?"

"Sure, sure."

"Smarties. Smarties. Wonderful Smarties! They bring me so much joy! Smarties. Smarties. Beautiful Smarties, for all the girls and boys!"

"That was wonderful Ness. I'm gonna go get your Smarties now, ok?"

"Okay! Bye!" I hung up. "Mommy, where is Daddy?" I asked.

"Daddy is with Jacob, they're on their way to Canada," Mom said.

"How are they getting there?" I questioned, confused because I hadn't heard any cars leave.

"They'll swim."

_A/N: So did you like it? TELL US!!!!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!! _**Yes! We LoVe reviews!!!**


	2. Gumdrops

**BOLD: Stella **_ITALICS: Pillow **BOLD ITALICS: Pillow and Stella**_

_Disclaimer: We obviously don't own twilight. disclaimers are steeeeewwwwwpid. _**uh huh. . . well at least they keep us from being sued. i'm too young to deal with that yet! **_young maybe. immature, definitely._ **so true. . .**

Bella POV

"Oh. My. Edward." I said, as I looked out the window.

"Mommy, I know you love Daddy, you don't have to proclaim he's yours all the time. It's not like those sluts Jessica and Lauren are after him anymore." Nessie announced.

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen!" I yelled, angry about her language.

"What?"

"What was that word you used when you were talking about Jessica and Lauren?"

"Sluts."

"Nessie! That is a BAD word!"

"What is?"

"Sluts!"

"Mommy! Don't swear! I am ashamed of you."

"Nessie! Don't you change the subject!"

"Fine. Sorry."

"Now, tell me who told you that word."

"But you said tattleing was a bad thing, and that nobody would like me if I tattled."

"Nessie, I will always love you."

"And Daddy?"

"Yes, and Auntie Rose, Auntie Alice, Uncle Emmett, Uncle Jasper, Grandma Esme, and Grandpa Carlisle."

"And Grandpa Charlie?"

"Yep."

"And Jacob?"

"You betcha."

"I thought gambling was bad?"

"You know what, just never mind."

"Never mind what?"

"That's the spirit."

"Of what?"

"Just tell me who told you that bad word."

"Which one? I mean I LOVE YOU MOMMY!"

"You know more than one?"

" Maybe. A little bit....."

"Nessie!"

"Fine! Uncle Emmett told me!"

"He's gonna get it! Let's go!"

"We can't!"

"Why not?"

"You didn't tell me what was going on outside!"

"Oh yeah.......ummm.....it's kinda raining gumdrops."

"WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"

_A/N: So did you like it? TELL US!!!!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!! _**Yes! We LoVe reviews!!!**


	3. More Smarties

**BOLD: The Lonely Tweenager (which is stella turner btw.) **_ITALICS: Pillow _**_BOLD ITALICS: Pillow and Stella  
_First of all: it's the Lonely TEEnager, Pillow. Even if I am a "tween". That just sounds stupid.**

Disclaimer:_ We obviously don't own twilight. disclaimers are steeeeewwwwwpid._ **uh huh. . . well at least they keep us from being sued. i'm too young to deal with that yet! **_young maybe. immature, definitely._ **so true. . .**

Bella POV

"Mommy! Where are my SMAAAAARRTTTTIIEEESSS?!" Renesmee yelled loudly from the couch. "I. Want. My. SMARTIES!"

"Renesmee, sweetie, don't yell like that! You know better!" I said, trying to keep calm as my child continued to scream, but not doing as well as I hoped. "Renesmee! Stop. Yelling. Now."

She looked up at me with her eyes wide and said, "I'm sorry Mommy," in that little childish voice of hers. Then she pressed her hand to my cheek, and visions of multicolored candies and blue boxes labled 'Smarties' with _pictures_ of those colored candies on them started appearing in my head. "I just want my Smarties." I loved my little girl, but this was getting _really_ irritating.

"Your father had to go to Canada to get the Smarties for you, sweetie, but he should be back soon." I said, adding _'He better be back soon'_ to myself. "You'll just have to wait." Renesmee pouted.

I heard voices behind me getting closer, then Renesmee's pout was suddenly replaced by a smile almost too big for her face. "DADDDDYYYY!" She cried, attempting to jump in his arms, only to notice too late that they were filled with bags and bags of Smarties. "SMARTIIIIIIIEEEEESSSSSSS!"

Soon Renesmee was sitting on the floor - on top of a huge pile of bags, all filled to the brim with those little blue boxes - and eating boxes so fast that I was sure it was a miracle she didn't choke. After about one bag full of the little colorful candies, she stopped eating - much to my relief - only to start bouncing off the walls like a chinchilla on suger high.

_Not. Good._ I thought. Edward chuckled beside me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. _Edward, what happens when vampires have sugar? _

Edward shrugged, starting to look a little frightened of Renesmee now. _Right. That really helps, doesn't it?_ I thought sarcastically.

"So how many store did you clear out?", I asked, looking at the ten bags of Smarties on the floor.

" The entire island.", Edward stated

" Where's Jacob by the way?", I questioned

" Canada."

" You left him in Canada?"

" No, these two girls saw him and this petite girl, I'm pretty sure she was half Filipino.....anyway, she reminded me of Alice alot, she was hyper, talking fast, same hair, same kind of clothing style, and she was threatening this other girl, who was her best friend from the looks of her mind, with shopping...., asked him if he was Jacob Black and then he said yes and then a bunch of girls mobbed him and then the other girl asked for my autograph and then the Alice girl came up to me and asked me for my autograph, so I gave it to them...."

Just then, Alice burst through the door with a crazed look on her face.

"Theresachildrenstorycartooncharacterrunningthroughthetownandmessingeverythingupandkillingpeople!"_(Pillow: translation-theres a childern story cartoon character running through the town and messing everything up and killing people)_ She explained hurriedly. We just stayed there - completely frozen on the couch. "What more do I need to say?! Help me already! And I will have to meet that "Alice Girl" sometime."

**Tater: Yes, Pillow, I do know that I didn't finish. Can you please write the rest or some of the rest of this chappie? I dunno how to write it!**

_Pillow: Not my problem._

**Tater: Well, it was your idea.**

_Pillow: I wrote all the other chapters!_

**Tater: So?**

_Pillow: Taaaaaaaatttttttttttttteeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

**Tater: For the last time, thats not my nickname!!!!**

_Pillow: Yes it is. I have documents. _

**Tater: Let me see those.....**

(5 minutes later)

**Tater: Fudge. **

_Pillow: See how much easier it is with a lawyer?_

**Tater: Yes.**

_Pillow: Exactly. So back to the chapter "write the rest of it" thing........_

**Tater: Okay fine, you don't have to call your lawyer again......Just, you know what screw it.**

_Pillow: YYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!CCCLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!_

**_A/N: Sorry, we just couldn't resist..............................review and tell us what you think what trouble this "mystery" cartoon character should get up too....and we know it was really short but w/e._**

**_luvs n' hugs_**

**_-Pillow and Tater_**

**_P.S YAY!!!!! 174 hits!!!!!_**


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